The Feast of Hajj

(Photo taken from The Malaysian Insider)

Idul Adha (atau di Malaysia dan Singapura, Hari Raya Haji, bahasa Arab: عيد الأضحى) adalah sebuah hari raya Islam. Pada hari ini diperingati peristiwa kurban, yaitu ketika nabi Ibrahim(Abraham), yang bersedia untuk mengorbankan putranya Ismail untuk Allah, akan mengorbankan putranya Ismail, kemudian digantikan oleh-Nya dengan domba.

Translation to English: Idul Adha (or in Malaysia and Singapore, Hari Raya Haji, in arabic: عيد الأضحى) is an Islamic feast. This day commemorates the event of sacrifice, when prophet Ibrahim (Abraham), who was willingly ready to sacrifice his prince/son Ismail for Allah, was about to sacrifice his prince/son Ismail, He provided a ram in place of him.

"Feasting is associated with sacrifice."

That's one of the few profound statements I've included in the paper I'm working on for finals (well, you may not think it's all that profound, but I do). Love what I'm learning while writing this paper.

Dec 7 is the day of Hajj for Muslims around the world. There are: sacrifices, symbolic stoning of the devil, sermons on Mt Arafat, slaughtering of animals for the feast. The imagery of this Islamic feast isn't dissimilar to Jewish feasts. Feasting is both a portrayal and prefigure to the Kingdom of God. It plays a part in missio Dei.

On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine 

- the best of meats and the finest of wines. 

On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, 

the sheet that covers all nations; 

he will swallow up death forever.

[Tuhan ALLAH] will wipe away the tears from all faces; 

he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth.

The LORD has spoken.

In that day they will say,

"Surely this is our [Allah]; we trusted in him, and he saved us. 

This is the LORD, we trusted in him; 

let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation."

~ Isaiah (Yesaya) 25:6-9 with al-Kitab equivalent

Thorn.

The single common denominator of men and women who achieve great things and make history is a clear, central sense of destiny.

1) You step into your destiny every time you listen to what your heart carries.

Your heart carries crazy passions and ambitious dreams - raw, unjaded, of another 'world' -  stuff that are beyond yourself.

Knowing to live without these dreams is to not live at all. Being awakened to dreams deep inside is to be ALIVE to Possibilities, Potential, Potency of focus, Power of the Divine.

And Poverty of the self.

2) Because you also step into your destiny when you look in the mirror of reality.

Knowing to live out these dreams is to come to terms with your humanity. Your mortality. Your humanness. Your...limitations. The chasm between you and what you dream.

Pick a dream you've always had. Something you pray for, wish for. Hope for.

Don't you feel so alive when you dare, even for a few seconds of the day (preferably more!), to imagine that dream? To wonder, get curious?! The what-ifs. And your heart beats faster just thinking about the possibility. Oh, man! All that I imagine would happen when I dream what God + me + the world looks like. Change. Revolution. Destiny.

And then, you hit the ground. Feel that thorn in your human flesh.

Don't you feel SO handicapped? So inept??

"That's not gonna happen."

"Maybe someone else."

"Impossible."

"I don't have what it takes."

"It's just a dream."

BUT HE SAID TO ME, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." THEREFORE I WILL BOAST ALL THE MORE GLADLY ABOUT MY WEAKNESSES, SO THAT CHRIST'S POWER MAY REST IN ME.

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

So tonight God spoke to me about this. 

Whatever your wildest dreams, go for it. Be the weakest possible, in the sense of fully experiencing what it means to be like Paul. Feel pain because you can't do it? Good!

Paul and his thorn. 

• If you dream about being the best teacher to urban kids, be the weakest best teacher.
  
• If you dream about starting the most amazing shelter for the homeless, be the weakest lover-of-the-homeless.
  
• If you dream about making history as the greatest architect ever, or the 'awesomest' philanthropist, or the craziest inventor, or the loudest remembered mime actress, BE THE BEST WEAKEST ONE.
  

I wanna be the weakest leader, simply in following the Strongest Leader of them all, in the most intimate way possible.

I wanna be a history maker, just walking side-by-side with the One who writes my history, where my future lies. Your future lies in your past. In the past, He found me in my weakness. My futility of self-effort. My brokenness. My insufficiency. My mortal limitations.

Why lose the magic of that brokenness, if that is where God meets you?!?

Carry passions and dreams in your heart with an ever-present THORN.

Blessed are the poor in spirit.

May we always be found lesser so that He may be more.

May we walk in deeper weakness so that His greater power may take over .

God's POWER + our POVERTY + the world's POSSIBILITIES

It is good to be ambitious. Learnt that from Oswald Sanders (and many others).

It is good AND godly to be ambitious AND inept. Weak. 

Unwillingness to be weak = Imperfect power of God.

HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.

You never know why you're alive...

Until you know what you would die for...

The question is not, "How much can I still do in the years that are left to me?"; the question is, "How can I prepare myself for total surrender so my life can be fruitful?" - Henri Nouwen

The difference is in surrender, to not strive. I am understanding ever more slightly, this is what it means to be free!

You see, the greatest and best thing about living with purpose is to yada' The Purpose. To just BE, with the One who IS my goal. The reason why I'm here. Not to be with Him so that I know my goals. He is my Goal. Not to come to Him so that I know how to live strategically. He IS my most strategic Way to know the Truth for Life. That's how to live your best life now!

What will I do after this?

What's my next step?

What will I be doing in 5-10 years' time?

Where will I go?

Where will I be stationed?

How can I learn what I need to for the future?

I don't know.

Sure, I want to know, and You do direct my steps. But I don't need to know in order to trust You.

I DO know I'll go where You go.

Not only that. I know where I go You'll go with me.

So. My life has never been this clear.

"There is a great charm not to know, but just watch Him unfold His purposes." - Oswald Chambers

Mercy Me - I Would Die For You

(this song is rocking my world and breaking my 'self' down)

And I know that I can find You here

'Cause You promised me You'll always be there

Times like these, it's hard to see

But somehow I have a peace You're near

And I pray that You will use my life

In whatever way Your name is glorified

Even if surrendering means

Leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear

Now I know the reason why I'm here

You never know why you're alive

Until you know what you would die for

I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give

But I promise You I'll give You all there is

Can I possibly do less 

When through Your own death I live

No greater love is found

Than of those who lay their own lives down

As sure as I live and breathe

Now I know what it means to be free

"Life reduced to fellowship with Christ makes the complicated very simple. We follow and He guides; we follow and He gives; we follow and He acts. In other words, we do not do anything but keep with Him, and then He does all the necessary things. Who would not walk with a Master who works like this?" - Henry W. Frost

Rest In You

(by Hillsong)

Your faithfulness endures always

The mountains fall, and reason fails

And You calm the raging seas

And You calm the storms in me

Again

All I know is I find rest in You

All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night

Where singing seems a sacrifice

And You calm the raging seas

And You calm the storms in me

Again

Your grace is all I need

Your grace is all I need

Is it so bad not to know all you want to know about your future?

Is it so important that God makes it clear for you what's coming?

Is it too hard to see that where God wants you right now is simply for you to BE and not DO?

No.

No, it's not.

So there are times when I forget. Forget the moments when I had settled the matter with self and with God. Forget I had embraced theologia crucis. Forget I had prayed, "My home is where You want me, O Lord".

God told Abram (read: me): Leave...for a land that I will show you.

So Abram (read: I) left.

God appeared.

Abram (read: I) built an altar.

He (read: I) moved on from there...and pitched his (read: my) tent...built an altar there and prayed to God.

Abram (read: I) kept moving...

All I need to know is I want to find rest in You.

NOVEMBER 4th

November 4th will be a momentous day in history.

MALAYSIA

What do you believe about the NEP? Or is it MEA? What's your view? Perhaps you haven't thought about it at all.

"...When Datuk Seri Najib Razak goes before Parliament tomorrow, he will sketch a grim picture of the global economic turmoil and its impact on Malaysia, and drastically revise the economic growth forecast for next year.

He will also have to manage the rising expectations that his announcement tomorrow is the equivalent of a silver bullet to all the hardship Malaysians will face in the next few months..." (read more)

There has never been a more crucial time to stand as a watchman for our nation. 26 million in population. Many lost without hope. But if only there's one man "among them who would build up a wall and stand before [GOD] in the gap on behalf of the land..." - Eze 22:30

UNITED STATES

Sand sculpture on Puri beach, India

Read Jaeson's post for what I believe to be my stand on Prop 8, and how I would vote, if I were a US citizen. It is most representative of my conviction. Although I'm not, I stand in prayer with my American friends who carry this burden at this critical hour.

As Christians, we need to know clearly (1) the TRUTH we are to profess according to a sound interpretation of the bible, and (2) the LOVE we are to demonstrate according to the message of grace. It is not an either/or issue, but a both/and issue. It's impossible to have a strong faith that does not 'interfere' with 'secular' affairs. Some think it is, they call it separation of church and state. Yes, the church does not always fully and rightly represent God's truth and love, we know that throughout history. But without God, what would be the state of 'state'? The compromise of truth because truth has failed to be the norm cannot make the inherently false become truth. And what is false contrary to God's truth is sin. It does, however, make the norm 'legalized sin'.

November 4th.

No better time to be the citizen of one while being sent to do mission in another. As someone once said, "The world is my parish." And another, "This world is not my home." Yet another, "Be the change you want to see in the world." And yet Another, "Ask of Me, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance."

The rise and fall of nations are under the rule of One Ultimate King.

"...a King who will reign wisely and do what is just and right in the land." - Jer 23:5b

P.R.A.Y.

SELAH

I was just telling Sarah on the phone last night that I needed a pause sometime soon. "I think I wanna pause and rethink so I can make some minor but intentional decisions about how to posture my learning. I need to selah." "Oh, totally! Selah's good." "Most likely Friday." "Sounds great!"

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Earlier in the afternoon before that conversation, I had just spent some time thinking with Jesus, when I was reminded of Psalm 103...

Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits -

It hit me. Since I got here in June 'til now, with trainings and a trip to Asia and back, I had not fallen sick. Not a hint of flu or whatever. So thankfulness just welled up inside of me...I don't wanna take good health for granted. I'm so thankful that I'm healthy and alive :)

who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

I had such a good chat with my fam on Skype yesterday morning. It was super-early and I was like a dead fish at 7am, but it was so good. Don't you just love technology? So I got to see Tipper (my sis' lil puppy) and call out to him over the internet and watch him perk up his ears. Been catching up with lots more people on a more consistent basis. Not regular, just more consistent. Those of you who haven't replied my emails, it's ok, I forgive you. Just like you forgave me.

who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 

From one of my classes, our study of leadership in the Bible focuses on 2 particular persons: Habakkuk and Nehemiah. It occurred to me that selah shows up in Habakkuk's 3rd chapter a remarkable number of times - 3 times in just that chapter! So imagine : Praise. Pause. Praise. Pause. Praise. Pause. Praise.

(If you have two kids, it'd be fun to name one Praise and the other Pause. You can get some worship rhythm goin)

God takes you through awesome moments, but He also shapes you through narrow circumstances. Even when you can't see any good in your life, even when you question God's solution to your prayers, even when all the trees around you wither up and die and bear no fruit.

who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Habakkuk struggled with God, we see that in Chapters 1-2. But come to Chapter 3, it's almost like a different person. Hmm...maybe he WAS, huh? Maybe a different perspective (yours vs God's) shapes you to become a different person (your you vs God's you). Like, you go through a narrow place and you get squeezed out of shape and come out from the other end looking different. More importantly, the change happens inside. Your substance becomes strained and strengthened and you squeeze through SOARING...like an eagle.

So, from meditating on 103 yesterday and thinking when my selah will be, today's chapel (every Wed 10am) introduced a very mindblowing word. Yup, you guessed it. SELAH.

No way!

And THEN the chaplain says, "Let's meditate on Psalm 103 together."

My heart skipped a beat.

Daddy God, you set me up.

Nice one.

I get the message.

eklektos

If the purpose of the church's existence is to fulfill God's mission on earth, what IS God's mission? And to what extent has the catholic church grasped that purpose, the very reason for its existence, throughout these 20 centuries? Consider that God chose to reveal Himself through the unfolding drama of redemption from the time of creation, of which a primary means of that revelation was in establishing a covenantal relationship with the man we know as Abraham. Then since the sealing of that covenant, all of Scripture show glimpses how we can know that God is a God of faithfulness, because He both provided (1) the contract itself, a 'measure' to which He can be faithful (with or without man's faithfulness), and (2) the circumstances in which His faithfulness can be revealed, as we now have that 'measure' to which faithfulness can be directed. An example would be like me making a promise to a friend to be there for her when she's in trouble, and then making sure she experiences enough situations that would prove my intent to keep my word, until she is fully convinced. It's not the most well-pondered example, but for today's meditation this would suffice.

God says throughout the Bible that His chosen people are His treasured possession, "...a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation...". To be elect = to be chosen. The Greek word 'eklektos' is defined as those who are picked out of the larger group for special favor and privileges. Was it for privileges, or were privileges a subset of the entirety of God's missional intent? Perhaps the reason for God's election was not so much for privileges as much as it was for service. Perhaps to be God's elect means to serve the nations of the earth, that they may know "[He] is the Lord Almighty, God of heaven and earth." And where that purpose of election is remembered and demonstrated by the eklektos, God's people are playing their part in the missio dei. Adversely, when the eklektos become exclusive, concerned only with themselves and appropriating God's favor and compassion purely for their own preservation, God's people then suffer from a lack of purpose, become blinded to God's revealing of His nature by their selfish inwardness, and cease to take part in the unveiling of His glory until "the waters cover the sea". In other words, the church loses its meaning.

I love this definition (from Wikipedia, where else?!):

When kept in the context of the Scriptures, missio Dei correctly emphasizes that God is the initiator of His mission to redeem through the Church a special people for Himself from all of the peoples (τα εθνη) of the world. He sent His Son for this purpose and He sends the Church into the world with the message of the gospel for the same purpose.

Does God use the story of His elect and His dealings with them in relation to the nations/Gentiles to provoke His own people to consider His mission in its entirety? Does He want those who call themselves God's people, the church, to know that He directs His favor on them not because they are meant to keep it, but that it gives the 'outsiders' a reason to desire Him and experience His favor too? That God uses people like Rahab of Jericho who put her faith in Yahweh because she saw how the Lord God was with Israel is not just so Rahab is converted to Him but that Israel herself is converted to know her God in the fullness of His nature and character?

Apart from those who do not yet know Him (by 'know', I mean to 'have a close relationship with'), how would you come to understand that God is a God of love and compassion?

Apart from those who haven't experienced His power, how would you know God heals the sick and opens blind eyes?

And that they need Him too, because He has shown you His awesomeness?

Read it all the days of your life.

"It is to be with him, and he is to read it all the days of his life so that he may learn to revere the LORD his God and follow carefully all the words of this law and these decrees and not consider himself better than his brothers and turn from the law to the right or to the left." Deu 17: 19-20

I've now had my 2nd week of classes. This quarter I'm taking 3 classes, I wanna attempt 4 for some quarters. Fuller has been simultaneously everything I expected and not. Which is great, I'm loving the challenge. As an international student, I can definitely feel the difference with which people respond to me once they know I'm from Malaysia. Very interesting...

On occasion people I meet on campus ask me, "What do you want here? What's your prayer?"

The only reply that I stick to when asked, the only prayer need I share most often, is that my time of studying here will not cause me to be puffed up in knowledge but void of life transformation. In essence, what I'm really desiring is a heart that reveres God more. To study the Scriptures (both in and outside of class) in such a way as to grow in reverence for my God.

(If the question was, "what brought you here, halfway across the globe?" I'd give a different answer altogether. Maybe that would be another post.)

One of my professors asked in class, "Have you been reading your Bible lately? What has God been speaking to you about?" Isn't it great that this Q is asked in seminary? Hilarious yet necessary. In reflection these couple of weeks, the verses God has used to shape my life over the past 10 years have been making a comeback in my thoughts and finding their way to my heart. You know how, like a Heroes rerun, you see some connections you never did previously? I love how God draws a person to Himself, directs him/her to grow in that relationship, and develops the character in Christ toward divine calling as part of His universal plan - so BIG yet personal. I can recall the first time the Word of God interacted with me, when His Word was more real than it ever had been before that day.

"Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." " Isa 30:20-21

That was one rhema I never forgot, and the 1st time I wept because I KNEW He was speaking to me. God does that. Getting a rhema word from Him like that can never be equated with any other string of letters, no matter how philosophically profound or intelligent or illuminating or inspiring. Inspired versus inspiring. Since then, there have been many other life verses. My own current definition of rhema = a timely word spoken out of the Divine's complete and perfect knowledge of you with exactness that both transcends yet speaks to your limitations and experiences.

So, I've been seeing some connections in this rerun that I never did.

When God gives you a word, cling on to it. Hold fast to His every syllable, but above all hold fast to Him. Over the course of your life, how He reveals His heart, His nature, His character to you...hold fast to that, never let go. You may look back 10 years (or less/more) from now, and marvel at His timeliness, His lovingkindness, His mind-blowing, heart-piercing, tongue-tying knowledge of who you are and JUST what you need to hear. Yet you can be assured that He will even go beyond that, and speak prophetic words that becomes your sustenance far into the future, words that decades later still find their way into your heart to further bring life transformation.

"It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him." Deu 13:4

No other book does that. 

No other GOD does that.

The Tilt Has Begun.

"I have a dream."

It is often said that a nation can be changed by just one man.

Abraham challenged God on Sodom and Gomorrah. Sounded like a numbers-game, if you followed the conversation. But he cared.

Moses' sincere intercession held off God's judgment on the Israelites. Selfless, plague-stopping intercession. More than once, too.

Hannah.

Gideon.

Deborah.

Esther.

Hezekiah.

Josiah.

Mary.

John the Baptist.

Then there was Jonah.

Ahab.

Judas.

And remember David and his 30 mighty men?

A 30-men band can build or topple a government/nation. Even just 1 man, for that matter. "Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!"

The destiny of nation(s) or a whole generation.

I remember those times when I played pinball, and each time that I had to play 'tilt' means I'd lose the game.

The tilt has begun.

Toward which side will Malaysia tilt, Lord? Will tilt lead to topple?

O Lord, have Your way.

National Anthem

Negaraku

(My country)

Tanah tumpahnya darahku

(My native land)

Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju

(The people live united and progressive)

Rahmat bahagia, Tuhan kurniakan

(May God bestow mercy and blessing)

Raja kita selamat bertakhta

(May our ruler reign established on his throne)

May our Ruler reign established on His throne.

Contend for Malaysia

(excerpt from inquirer.net)

Malaysian bloggers, journalists brace for wider crackdown

AT least two bloggers, a journalist, and one opposition politician were arrested under Malaysia’s Internal Security Act (ISA) on September 12 in what media and activists are afraid may be the start of a wider crackdown ahead of an anticipated opposition push to gain control of parliament next week, the Southeast Asian Press Alliance (SEAPA) said.

more...

------------

I humbly ask that you guys stand with me in prayer for my nation. Regardless of your nationality. 

And to Eklektos, it's time to wedge your knees into the ground.

The Malaysian ruling party Barisan National appears threatened by the opposition which has now been given a stronger voice than ever before from recent controversies. There are now rising fears that more arrests are being planned by the ISA and that these 4 detainees are only part of a much wider crackdown campaign. The disturbing resemblance to the incidences that led up to Operasi Lalang back in 1987 when many politicians, activists, academics were detained does give ground to these fears. Following a threat by the government last week to suspend 3 Malaysian newspapers (one of which is published by the opposition), now the arrest of these 4 persons add to the political and racial tension building up in Malaysia since the March elections, and stirs an unrest amongst the people.

We need to pray for Malaysia.

For justice, righteousness, truth.

"...Can a country be born in a day or a nation be brought forth in a moment?...Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the LORD. --- Isa 66:8-9

To those of you interceding for Malaysia faithfully, do not doubt that the Lord hears, He will be true to His word and will not stop halfway through delivery.

Return to Him, declare a holy fast, call a sacred assembly. Rend your hearts and not your garments

Contend for revival and transformation!

Contend for justice, righteousness, truth.

Contend for Malaysia.

Oh How He Loves Me

i was wondering how jesus felt when he was walking towards the river to get baptized by his cousin. his siblings didn't really get him, his parents wanted him to toe the line and couldn't understand why he didn't...he really didn't have much going for him. 

i can almost feel jesus' excitement walking to that river. mingled with calmness and peace. maybe a hint of humor as he thought of john's anticipated reaction. hundreds of people are gathering around as john baptizes them one by one with his disciples' help. imagine jesus' sandaled-feet nearing the water's edge and john looks up to see him approaching. jesus says, "hey john! my turn." john thinks, "ah! he's going to baptize me now." he begins to bend his knees and stoop low but jesus stops him. "no, i mean YOU baptize me." he smiles at john's shocked expression. there's a hush upon the crowd.

i'd love to have been there to see it with my own eyes. what joy it brings to my heart knowing that it was one of jesus' most significant moments with his heavenly dad, and that whole incident was recorded JUST for me to read. before he had done ANY miracles or given his 1st ever sermon, jesus' identity as beloved Son was permanently and publicly affixed. God's love for him was agape.

jesus while on earth walked in the fullness of grace and love. he was sinless and perfect. he was a man yet also deity, the FULL expression of God's glory! wouldn't that make him the most desirable person you could set your sights on? wouldn't that make him the most beloved of all, the most worthy? and God loved him. but he later took on the ugly cloak of our sin. instead of the Spirit descending on him in bodily form like a dove, in stark contrast he clothed himself with our shame and chose separation from the father for our sake. one who is my fiery love, so desirable and beautiful, became despised and unattractive, scorned on the cross in the most cruel way to die. for God so loved the world...

isaiah 53 says, "...he had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him...despised and rejected by men...we esteemed him not."

i wanna stop and ponder.

1) the most beautiful person who ever walked the earth, he's God's beloved son, in whom He is well pleased.

2) the brutalized, hated Jewish man on the cross between 2 criminals, screaming at the top of his collapsing lungs, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"

same man. and he tells me he loves me.

same God. he traded his beauty for me.

has it ever occured to you that JESUS the most beloved and beautiful made himself undesirable and weak so that the MOST undesirable and weak can become the most beloved and beautiful?

You Fool!

Reading through Genesis-Exodus (still!). So good!

Yesterday morning I read from Jacob through Moses. As I went over Exodus 2-3, God's personal message for the day hit me like a ton of bricks.

(Below a non-theological take! If your theological feathers are ruffled you're most welcome to respond anyway)

- God made a lopsided covenant with Abraham: non-bilateral, fully unconditional, pure grace. No matter how messed-up or unfaithful Abraham could be, God would fullfill it.

- God had Isaac in mind since the beginning. No old womb could stop him. Even his future wife and how they met (camels included). Time and again, He shows that He 'sees' and 'hears'. 

- God pursued Jacob's whole-hearted devotion. Arranged dates just to meet with him, even a whole night of wrestling. Renamed him, and then reminded him. Blessed him with a soccer-team-sized brood of kids.

- God set Joseph up for a fall. Into the pit. Then prison. Then palace, overnight. Denied him authority, only to position him for top governmental position.

- God called Moses who grew up with Egypt's finest only after he'd been cast out in the wilderness and lost all influence to return and do the impossible. Out of touch with Egyptian and Hebrew culture. Foolish and ridiculous. Just what God wants. Moses rebutted, God re-rebutted.

Everything God does, He does. He doesn't force, but He doesn't back down. He doesn't choose for you, but gets in your way til you see the street light and His signpost. When He wants your heart, He's dead serious. Like, literally. 

Everytime you look at yourself and think "I can't do this", "I don't know how", "God, send someone else", "Oh no, not me!", "but I can't speak well", "I just need more training", "they won't listen to me"...you're potentially laughing at what God can do. And putting your trust in your 'I' more than God. Oh, He loves to choose the foolish to shame the wise. 

It's SO foolish to use a baker and cupbearer to be Joseph's new prison-mates.

To open Sarah's womb when she's so old when someone else could've birthed Isaac.

To tell Abraham to give up his only son who's supposed to carry on his promised lineage.

To use Jacob, a conniving man, to father the tribes of Israel. To manage a soccer team would've been more believable.

To have Moses cast out of Egypt and then tell him to go back and meet Pharaoh when he's more like a desert wildman than a royal prince. And tell him to do tricks like changing a staff into a snake, that's supposed to convince Pharaoh?!

"Who am I, Lord?"

Exactly.

So foolish. So inept. So incapable of doing things right. Such an unlikely choice for divine purposes and great plans.

Ahh...but JUST what God needs.

Under the weight of the ton of bricks, I asked God for a foolish generation.

One that fully recognizes its need for Him, completely in touch with their lack of ability. A generation that may seem culturally awkward, alien yet anointed. Prioritizes making disciples more than making sense. Ridiculously obedient and radically counter-worldly.

If ever you think God made a 'wrong choice' when it comes to you and your calling, I hope you can see just how 'wrong' a choice you are. Grace is so much bigger then. And your desperation for Him to confound the wise through you. Precisely because you are so foolish to believe He could be right when He chose you.

God, I ask You for a generation so foolish to believe in You, to believe that You want their undivided devotion, and think that they can be of any use at all. Make their hearts so incapable of functioning without acknowledging they are nothing without You. That they be captured by Your voice to the point they can seem irrational but cause people to notice Your love is real and can change lives because they foolishly let You change theirs.

Thought of the day: Risk is not calculated by the probability of success but the nobility of its cause. Faith is not calculated by the probability of fulfillment but the reliability of its Source.

(taken from NECF website)

THE LORD REVIVES (40-Day Fast & Pray)
Transforming the Nation Through the Local Church

This year's NECF National Prayer Conference will be held from 28-30 August. We are 

excited at what God is doing in the prayer movement as He continues to raise many to 

cry out for mercy for our land.

Many Christian leaders regard the current 5-year period as a season of grace

 -- a kairos moment given to the Church to contribute towards nation building. Every church plays significant role in impacting the nation and bringing about transformational change in society.

"Revival occurs when men and women are on fire for God" - John Wesley

Speak to God

Speak to God in repentance and confession of our sins - Ps 51:1-4, 10-13
Ps 51:1-2 "Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin."
Speak to God often - Eph 6:18
Eph 6:18 "Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere"
Worship God in spirit and in truth - John 4

Speak to others
Speak to others words of honor and affection - Rom 12:9-13
Don’t just pretend you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other
Speak to others words of blessings - Col 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Speak to others words of peace - Rom 12:18
"Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible"
Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry – James 1:19

DARE YOU TO DESIRE

Know that verse "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" ?

Ever wonder what that means to you and me? 

I've always known that verse. People always talk about how when you put God first all the time and in everything, He'll give you what you want. Sometimes I have a problem with that interpretation, lacks depth and does not pierce my heart the way it now has. 1st, it makes God sound uber-demanding, a whipcracking 'you can only want what I want' kinda god.  2nd, it makes me fear selfishness, like I'd prioritize God only to the extent that I want something from Him. Solution? Dare not desire 'anything except Jesus'. 

So I was reading Hebrews the other day (part of a 30-day challenge to read 30 chapters of the Bible everyday), and one of my favorite passages jumped out at me in a new way. I love it when that happens. And not when you try to make it happen...Heb 10:5-7 says,

Therefore, when Christ came into the world, he said:

"Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,

but a body you prepared for me; 

with burnt offerings and sin offerings you were not pleased.

Then I said, 'Here I am - it is written about me in the scroll - 

I have come to do your will, O God.' "

That led me to Ps 40:6-8, from which the writer of Hebrews quoted. Same passage/words. Except the last bit goes "...I desire to do your will...your law is within my heart." Made me think of Ps 37:4 and Ps 119:11. 

I can understand SACRIFICE, OFFERING...

but...DESIRE?

Maybe it's not such a big problem for some of you. But for me deep down, I admit I've bought into the 'desire is evil' philosophy over the years. I also believe many Christians share the same mindset, amongst many others. Think about it.

God created desire, right?

And He created you, including your heart and all the issues of life that spring from it.

You cannot say God cares about even your hair-count if you cannot believe that the desires of your heart can be pleasing to God. Hair is hardly as important as heart, isn't it?

And I felt the Lord remind me on Aug 9 what He said before, when I was still in Malaysia.

"Don't just ask me what I want for you. I'm not gonna tell you what to do. You know what's in your heart, you already know what you want. I want what you want."

I was like, "No, God! Just tell me what to do, what YOU want. I don't wanna do what I want, I wanna do what YOU want. I'm willing to give up what I want for you!"

So 'spiritual'. Sometimes, so wrong.

Ps Philip Mantofa, a preacher of our time that truly reflects a life of intimacy with God, once rocked my world when he said (in Asia For Jesus Malaysia, 2007) that just like a husband and wife's relationship, '...you are to be one with God. So close to Jesus, so intimate, that what you say goes. He will give you what you ask for, He'll LOVE to please your heart. What a husband says to the children, the wife echoes it so that they are one. Unity in their hearts. Same goes for the wife. What the wife says, the husband goes along with it. That's true intimacy. Jesus too! What YOU want, you pray for, you ask Him for, He will give you. Because you are so close to Him, you are ONE.' 

When we've hidden his word in our hearts that we might not sin against him.

When the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts are pleasing in his sight.

It PLEASES him to say YES to you.

To your sincere, heartfelt (but not boombasti-fied) prayers.

To your casual (but not trivial) utterances as you go about your day.

To the whims of your heart, gestures of your hand, glances of your eye toward him.

You don't get answers to your prayers because you don't pray from the heart!

You don't see miracles around you because you are afraid to ask and be let down.

You don't experience God's generosity because you have not been sticking close to Him.

So as not to expose your lack of intimacy and faith, you ask not. You desire not. You want not.

And dry-clean it and label it 'contentment in all things' and 'being holy'. Hah.

The Lord reminded me of all this as I was praying about joining a CCN trip to Asia for ministry in Hong Kong and Korea. Will be travelling Aug 25 to Sept 7.

"God, what should I do? Can I? Is it okay with you?"  But-this. But-that.

"Do you want to?"

Oh man, not again, God?!

So I know God is training me in this area through these particular situations. He gave me the burden for HK and Korea just before the trip. Timing's right, team's right. He wants what I want. He's down with that. Woah.

Disclaimer: Do not apply the God-wants-what-I-want lesson for EVERY situation. You DID not hear/read that I said you can do that ;)

Stay close to Him and share His heartbeat. When you give weight to his every word spoken to you, you can trust that your words carry weight to move His heart too!

May he give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed. ~ Ps 20:4

I DARE YOU TO DESIRE.

"...so that your joy will be complete."

AFF and SCPx shots

briefing on 24-7 prayer, Holy Spirit's presence was SO strong!

morning meditation on the psalms.

enacting and acting from the gospels, hilarious!

out on a scavenger hunt! stranded by 3rd clue, almost couldn't get lunch. sunburnt!

bathroom baptism scene

teaching illustration taken outdoors. lesson of the day: travel light when you GO. i think americans need this teaching more ;)

simulating an underground house church, how-to-avoid-getting-caught-having-church drill. they got busted!

dinner at lauren's (redhead, centre) aunts' place.

drumming the heartbeat of God. redeeming the rhythm of the Indians' community dance.

prayer with Haskell president and pastors

at sheridan's, real good ice-cream yo!

praying for one of the three who got baptized on our last day!

moved to intercede for the nations by Holy Spirit, one of many times

yet a time is coming and has now come...God is spirit. every nation, every tongue, every tribe, every land. God, raise up another student volunteer movement to bring Your Gospel back to Jerusalem.
and then the end shall come.

The Shepherd and the blind man

When Jesus healed the blind man at the pool of Siloam, He knew it was the Sabbath (Jn 9:14). The man went and washed [the mud made with spit from his eyes], and came home seeing. Everyone wanted to know what exactly happened. Even the Pharisees were busy interrogating the man. Blind since birth, now 'came home seeing'. Quite a town-stirrer!

"One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!"

"What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?"

"I've told you already and you didn't listen. Why do you wanna hear it again? You wanna become his disciples, too?"

I love this part. The Pharisees loathed it. They threw him out.

I found it remarkable that Jn 9 tells us Jesus approached the blind man two times: (1) to heal his eyesight in v 6, and (2) show him the subject of his worship in v 37. He Himself pursued him, and he worshipped him (vv 35-38).

Later in Jn 10:21 some of the Jews said, "...can a demon open the eyes of the blind?"

The man whose sight was healed said in Jn 9:32, "Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind."

It occurred to me the passage about the Good Shepherd is even more significant because it is slipped in between the story in  Jn 9 and Jn 10:21. Between both passages that mention the healing of the blind is a passage that talks about hearing. Hearing the shepherd whose voice is known by his sheep. He calls them by name, their ears know his voice, and in trusting recognition they follow him. Hearing becomes so much more acute when we cannot see. I wonder what it was like for that blind man to suddenly have his sight restored - he has never SEEN before! - and suddenly, he beholds the Son of Man. That must've been so amazing! 

"Who is he, sir? Tell me..."

"You have now seen him...the one speaking with you."

"Lord, I believe."

"...I have come...so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."

Revelation of Jesus is beyond sight.

You have not SEEN until you've seen Jesus.

Recognize He pursues you in your darkness, touches you with His tender hands on the most unlikely day.

Obey His voice even when you cannot see ahead of you, let your ears catch when He whispers or calls you by name.

Acknowledge He is God amidst accusation and threat from those who want to steal, kill or destroy your revelation of Him.

He WANTS us to trust his voice, be awed by him, worship him, follow Him by faith and not by sight.

I DON'T KNOW A LOT, BUT ONE THING I DO KNOW. I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE. YOU SAY HE ISN'T GOD. I SAY UNLESS HE IS GOD HE CANNOT OPEN BLIND EYES. 

MY SHEPHERD, GIVE ME A REVELATION OF YOU. 

A Call to Malaysian Youth

Received through email today: "prayer partners...thanks for your continual prayer...Pray for Malaysia is on Godtube...Sharing with you what the Lord did on July 4, 2008 as we prayed for our beloved nation together with 40 nations..." - watch the videoclip

A nation-transformation, history-making call is being sent out:

Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering 

I strongly urge that all Malaysian youth participate in this prayer movement, regardless which city you come from. From every city across Malaysia, come ON! This is a nationwide call, God is raising up a generation for revival. A generation of young radicals who voluntarily go to the extreme to be set apart for His use in these dark times and train with devotion and diligence - a Nazirite generation. Young people, consider this a trumpet call for PREPARATION for noble use (2 Tim 2:20-22), CONSECRATION of lifestyle (Num 6:1-8) AND SATURATION of the Word (Eph 5:26-27).

It is a serious window of opportunity to pray for Malaysia as if history hinges on it. Because in essence, it does. 

And to my beloved Sabahans, Sabah is on Berita NECF's state spot this round.

Meek? Me?!? Yes, Lord, make 'meek' me.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt 11:28-30)

Jesus died on the cross and demonstrated resurrection life so that we who believe in Him not only have resurrection as our hope but are empowered to live the crucified life. That requires that we take up our cross daily and follow Him. Add to that the point that Jesus said those who humble themselves will be exalted, on the contrary those who exalt themselves will find a rude awakening in store for them (in my own words). 

It struck me (not suddenly, but during some hours of meditating on Matthew 5:5) that Jesus deliberately lowered Himself to a life that had no glitz or glamour, fully intending that we follow in His footsteps - put our feet into His leather sandals, so to speak. We are to lug our cross likewise through life "...for the joy set before [us]." Because Jesus was lowly in heart, He could relate totally with people who were 'sick' and 'needy', because those who were healthy didn't need a doctor. He came to seek and save the lost. The depraved, the condemned, the broken, the filthy, the unlovable - that's us.

He made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness...humbled Himself and became obedient to death... (Phil 2:6-8)

WE are His inheritance. He did all that so He could pay our ransom. So that WE would belong to HIM. Imagine that...

The Lord of Hosts, fully divine and fully human, clothed Himself with meekness - for YOU.

Forget riches of the world.

Forget having kingdoms at your feet (Satan taunted Him with this).

Forget position, power, political leverage.

Forget reputation.

Forget popularity.

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." (Matt 5:5)

We are Jesus' inheritance.

And in His leather-sandals footsteps, "[our] attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus"

(Phil 2:9-11).

Holy Spirit revealed some things to my heart concerning true meekness, how Jesus embodies that, and how it relates to how we carry our hearts before God and men. Very humbling. And it's so sweettt! It's dope :) 

As we seek to walk in His attitude of meekness, not seeking rights, riches or righteousness of our own, what do we inherit?

The Lord reminded me of (1) Ps 2:8; and (2) when you become more and more like Christ in your walk, anything you ask of your Father in heaven He delights to give to you. When your heart's desires cleave onto to His heartbeat, what He wants becomes what you want, and vice-versa - that is mind-boggling and totally awesome to me! (3) and we learn to love unlovables like ourselves.

Lord, may my heart be postured in meekness before You, against the landscape of truth, mercy, justice and righteousness, let this reign. Above my rights, principles, beliefs, understanding, thoughts, reign over my stubborn and proud heart to be lowered under the weight of the revelation of Your crucifiction. Awe me so much with how You can be so humble in heart as God of the universe, yet are so strong and powerful, that I may learn to find rest in that, in knowing I need only to come to You, my inheritance is found only in You. 

He was the Truth

This reliable real-life story broke my heart. 

[SEEKER STORY]

There was a man living in Tehran who had always wanted to find the truth. He never had any contact with committed Christians. He never heard the Gospel.

At death's door

Old age approached and he had a very serious stroke. He was rushed to the hospital and was semi-conscious for three days. His family was by his bedside most of the time and his son was there day and night. The son longed for his father to say a few words.

The father never spoke, and after three days he died. From the human point of view he had known nothing about Christ. He was seemingly a 'lost' soul facing a Christless eternity.

The Jesus dream

A few days later the son had a vivid dream. His father came to him and spoke about those last days in the hospital. 'When I was in the hospital I saw Jesus. He told me He was the one I'd always been looking for. He told me He was the truth, and the only way to meet God was to believe in Him.'

So there, semi-conscious, this old man became a believer. Jesus didn't let him enter eternity alone.

The father went on in the dream to say sorry for not talking to the son - 'But for those three days, I was all the time with Jesus - that's why I couldn't talk to you.' The father's final words were - 'Go and tell the family about Jesus.'

The next morning the son was very excited but very nervous. What would the rest of the family say if he asked them to believe in Christ? With apprehension he sat down at the breakfast table. He noticed his younger sister wasn't there. When he asked where she was, they said she was upset.

So he went to get her. She was sitting on her bed, knees up, head down. As he knocked, she looked up, her eyes glistening with tears. He sat down and gently took her hand - 'What's the matter?'

'I've had a dream - but you'll be upset...' She looked at her brother, a little frightened...

'Don't worry - I won't get angry.' So she told him her story. They had both had the same dream!

All the members of this immediate family are now believers.

(taken from Briefings - The Silk Road by Glenn Meyers, pg 57)

Did you know that there are thousands of stories like this, maybe more? It's true, there can't be smoke without fire. And where many in the Middle East face darkness and total loss of hope and livelihood, they find Jesus.

"Now as we look to the future, it looks even brighter. We expect tens of thousands of Iranians and thousands of Afghans to be added to Christ's church annually. We now pray for 500,000 Iranian MBB.s and 25,000 Afghan MBB.s by 2015. This prayer is not just based on our imagination, but on how God has demonstrated that with Him all things are possible..." ~ Abe Ghaffari (excerpt from website Iranian Christians International)

Do you have Christ in your life? 

You need to know the Truth.