24.4.07

to die for.

many people live for a cause they deem worth dying for.

throughout history, martyrs of all kinds have been hung, stoned, guillotined, stabbed, blown to pieces, decapacitated, disarmed, tortured, defaced, brutalised, raped, mutilated, crucified, burnt to death, buried alive, starved, imprisoned, chain-sawed, shipwrecked and drowned, you name it. there are many ways to die, really.

to be so gripped by that one cause to the point that a person is willing to lose his life for it, the question i often ask myself is 'is it really worth it?' and 'is that something i would do?'

i would never understand the mind of a suicide bomber. it's cursed enough to kill, what more to take one's own life after the kill. yet in some freakish way, it is not as senseless as a shooting rampage where the shock is magnified by the lack of reason why it had to happen. "why, mr. gunman? why??" what was his cause?

you chose the cross, with every breath
the perfect life, the perfect death
you chose the cross
a crown of thorns you wore for us
and crowned us
with eternal life
you chose the cross


the greatest of these is love. no greater cause, no greater love. Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

friends, strangers, family, relatives, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, enemies, oppositional parties, employees, random faces in the street.

they are to die for. for God so loved...

is that something i would do?

20.4.07

King of the Flood

I'm tired, Lord. At this moment, I honestly say...I'm tired.

I hear the howling winds and feel the skin-stinging stormy sea billowing onto my face...the sound of my own voice drowned out. still I strain in a cry..and sing.

What can I say
And what could I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One
who gave it all
I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am
is Yours

Like one of my fave songs, I weather this storm in my heart that tears me apart inside. And sing.

Because You give and take away
You give and take away
Yet my heart will
choose to say
Blessed be Your name

To the King of the storm and floods still, I sing.

18.4.07

bring it on!

yeah!

find myself looking forward to more and more things...there's a mounting sense of thrill at what's gonna take place these next few months. and oh! to be a part of it. or rather, if i look at it from God's perspective, all these are what He terms My 'so-much-more' for you, Janice. so i'm not just a part of things, i'm God's reason for making them happen.

egocentric? perhaps not. my life is meant to be full, overflowing with joy, anointed of Him and totally soaked in love. His blessings are so much more than what I can imagine...and always, God is more concerned about the person doing the task and not the task itself.

ok, earth to Janice!

my schedule's been more hectic than usual, a lot more planning and strategizing for change. eklektos will take a new turn soon, and I want to be ready for it. something struck me hard 4 days ago from 'Cries of the Heart' by Ravi Z: the only thing that sees us through is an unwavering trust in the character of God. seasons come and seasons go, but He doesn't go back on His Word. so as i've been planning for my own future, thinking through ministry issues, working on people and certain looming circumstances that don't seem to be clearing up anytime soon, dismal as it looks from my puny and often myopic perspective, i trust. i want to.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the LORD, i will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. ~ Habakkuk 3:17-19

and i know that this mounting sense of thrill is because i know God knows what it looks from my puny mortal perspective, and He will answer.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield, the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man (and woman) who trusts in you. ~ Psalm 84:11-12 (bracket added by me)