all worth it

there is a sense of finality as i prepare to leave my beloved sabah. i'm one of those who have never left for long. not that i don't love globe-trotting. but it's God. "it's time to go, my dear"...and there's that sense of finality, in the goodbyes, the sharings, the prayers, i can feel it.

it's hard to put into words what i think so much about lately, because it's not meant to be shared just yet. but tonight as i think about Eklektos goin on in kyrugma house, while i spend time at home, my heart goes to them. Father, i pray Your presence and power be on them increasingly as Your children seek Your face...in one accord. let Your Holy Spirit fill them and fire them up, because You are their shepherd and King.

i asked the Lord 4 months ago whether the past few years spent serving Him the best way i knew how alongside His precious Eklektos beloveds have pleased Him. was it worth it, God? He said a firm yes. and that was it, i knew one of the biggest lessons any of us should learn is that your closeness with God far outweighs your 'performance', or ministry results. fruit does matter, but sometimes what we call results do not equal lasting fruit.

God is the One who grows and brings success. every church, especially those of young people, must never lose sight of the Kingdom purpose. we're the training ground, the training force, the trainers. every young person who grows up in Christ belongs to the Kingdom, not merely to a local church or to a youth group. people come and go, no group stays together forever. every church is a missionary-sending workforce, and each member's identity and significance come from grasping that Kingdom perspective. each disciple carrying his/her cross, that "though none go with me, still i will follow". then everything done in the name of God will not be short-sighted, me-focused, pastor-centered or results-oriented yet minus Kingdom power and purpose.

it must not.
and then, it's all worth it when people grow up, mature, are sent out, fulfilling His Kingdom dreams for his/her life. they belong to God. the ministry belongs to God.

i, too, belong to God.
it's all worth it. Eklektos has been worth it. God's the One.
every tear, every joy, every pain, every season - because you change lives the best when you're the one who is the most changed. invest, invest, invest in people. young people, that includes YOU.

i shall live that way.
(i shall leave that way)