YOU are my shield and sandwich, forever.

i hadn't blogged what happened during my recent mountain climb (refer to Jan 9 blog of mt climb photos). was memorizing psalm 91 a few days before the climb, and on the climb's 1st day i meditated on it along my way to 11,000ft. what happened was, on our way to the summit the 2nd morning, just after sayat-sayat hut a gust of cold wind started blowing (it didn't cease until when we made our descent to go home). you would think that by now i should know how much clothing is enough, right? i was for some reason not adequately insulated this time. so there i was, freezing my way up. then just as i was thinking of giving up and head back down, 2 friends who happened to climb as well were there and started singing a malay song to me. so 3 of us plodded along. when they saw i was getting too cold, they started walking tight together on my right where the wind was blowing from, like a shield. and at times when the wind was too much for me, we would stop and they'd sandwich me in the middle for a few minutes in a tight hug. words from psalm 91 flooded my mind, and i wanted to cry. my heart felt as though God was speaking so loud, "hey, you'll be fine, i'm your shield, strong enough for you. life's gonna be okay, i'll take care of you, we won't let you out in the cold by yourself." we made it to the top, though i stopped just short of the peak signboard - but, we made it. 2 God-sent angels.

and in regards to my future (location, ministry, covering, etc.) - that 'sandwich' experience will stick for a long, long time as a word from God for me to strengthen me through the struggle daily to remember that He has not forgotten to answer my prayer for where i am to go and what He will lead me to. dear abe, how did you feel when God told you to leave everything (you love) and go somewhere He hasn't shown you? i mean, how did you know where to put your foot?? that next step...

been taking a class on the Pentateuch (i.e. first 5 books of the bible) in which many thoughts are thrown around...4 mornings every week from 7:40am to 9:20am, i just love being there. as usual (like many prior occasions that i read these 5 books), i am awed by the unfailing love and mercy of my God reflected in Old Testament writings. if you're fond of reading the NT and have wondered why the NT seems to reflect more of the God you know, the God of compassion, slow to anger and abounding in love, turn to the pages of the OT and be awed.

it's an adventure deciding where to go this year. and how it has torn me apart inside! sometimes my emotions swing like the pendulum, and no apparent sign between the 'right' and the 'more right' path to take. learning so much in my walking this journey myself, yet not alone because He's holding my hand. Lord, You know i love You. You will rescue me and protect me, because i long to acknowledge Your name. when i call You will hear and will answer, You will deliver me and show me Your salvation (psalm 91). and JUST as i thought i finally settled into THE choice, started doing applications and all that stuff, and miraculous provisions started coming in --- something SO strange happens last Sat that everything has to halt. aaah! Lord, how long....?

this morning i just soaked in these words in habakkuk 1:12-2:3, what a timely word He spoke to comfort me :

1While standing guard
on the watchtower,
I waited for the LORD's answer,
before explaining the reason
for my
complaint. 2Then the LORD told me:
"I will give you
my message
in the form of a vision.
Write it clearly enough
to be read
at a glance.
3At the time I have decided,
my words will come true.
You can
trust what I say
about the future.
It may take a long time,
but keep on
waiting--
it will happen!

God, i DO trust You have my future in Your hand. i will not doubt and thus be tempted to disobey. You've spoken, You've opened the way, You've shown me You are trustworthy for these past 7 years. the wind can blow any which way, You surround me still. shield me from the cold, Lord. hide me under Your wings where i find my refuge. sandwich me so tight that i will neither turn to the left nor to the right, but just straight ahead where You're going to lead me...though i don't know where that is. that's the only direction i ever want to go, Lord. to YOUR peak, where i hear You singing over me...like a song on the mountain.