"Give us clean hands, O God!"

been walking a more introspective few-weeks, asking God for a greater measure of love for His people than before. learning to listen more than talk, be patient, learning to understand more than to be understood. we love because He first loved us, of late it's been so lifechanging just to shift gears and look out more for others' heart-language than before. but of course i didn't go around attempting to do that for EVERYBODY i meet, that'd be trying to be God. but those around me, those i hang with, those i love God together with, i pray to God for His love to expand my heart and sustain my faith...He's so full of the agape love that i have not.

had Eklektos ldrship meetg two nights ago. in a nutshell: discipleship, prayer, leadership-building are non-negotiables. we took about 5 group shots at the end, this is my fave, yo! (joel, thanks for framing the group photo for our dear "you don't trust me is it?" calvin to click the shutter... it was funnier to be on the other side of the camera watching the wannabe photographer do his thang!)

this morning's prayer time rocked! i'm not addicted to praying with my youth, i'm addicted to praying with my youth in God's presence. what makes the difference? duh, the last 2 words. and God's presence was definitely with us as he led us through a time of breakthrough prayer and repentance. after awhile of praying, we sang 'rain down' and 'give us clean hands', the anointing picked up and everybody began to pray real strong...each of us began to cry out for this generation, then He wanted us to focus on these issues: suicide, pornography, sexual immorality, purposelessness, apathy.

yeah! God, You're raising up a praying army in this place, a generation that seeks
Your face O God of Jacob...of those who know You. of those who would exchange the world just to know Your presence. Lord, turn Your face to us, cause us to long after Your heart's desires above all else, that nothing matters as much as being totally with You - not even signs and wonders, not even big numbers, nothing. Let this army rise to Your trumpet call, Lord, and at the sound of Your voice do great exploits. only at the sound of Your voice.

me bday

just went through some photo folders and saw these, didn't know they were there at all! it was a memorable night with my eklektos family, nov 21:


this was one surprise i didn't expect. 27 years don't prepare you for times like this. it was towards the end of our service, and halfway through the closing song it switched to a birthday tune! check out the slide they flashed up...awww. out came these balloon-toting guys, i didn't know THAT would happen...

after recovering, i realized the balloons were in the shape of my name...how sweeeeett! aren't they adorable? (i mean the people, not the balloons)

then i was brought onto the stage, and after the song came SPEECH time...speechLESS. i spoke lar, of course! but not much. it was heartwarming just the fact that these awesome young men and women are so loving :) i was so proud to just be with them, the most amazing young people in the whole world were around me, right there...

then i was given a (pretty big) yellow pin to burst the 'J' - "we put notes in there for you, burst them!" okayyy....... "but i'm scared!" some pops later, they encircled me and prayed blessing over me. God, what an honor and privilege. i was blessed to bits :')

it was really touching...felt the luurrve, man...felt the lurve.

emergeNT

much has happened in the span of this week. i'll just take EMERGENT camp Dec 8-10 - had difficulty penning down my post-camp thoughts. so i ask, 'God, what do You think? what do You see?' perhaps i could write a 10-paged report on how we could have organized it better, avoided more last-minute arrangements, prepared the team and campers better, etc. but that's rubbish, in this case. i'm just gonna stick with the big picture.

camp's theme was abt the new testament church, key verse being acts 2:17. i recall my post on Dec 6, a short excerpt "...we're preparing for a mighty outpouring of Holy Spirit on every one of the 60+ campers and to see these followers of Jesus Christ be imparted with supernatural faith and walk in radical obedience. God is gonna break mindsets of the 'old' and pour in the 'new'; it is time to rethink our ecclesiology and retool in unity to prepare God's army for revival harvest - like a pitstop and a boiling kettle..."


certain amazing happenings:

1) during prayer time on sat morning, Theresa got the words joy and power, God also showed her a picture of His promises kept in a bottle. Gem saw a person holding out his hands in front of him forming a round shape, she didn't know what it meant. on that day, after the 1st session of worship, i felt led to tell everybody, 'ok! hold out both your hands in front of your body like you're holding a big barrel.' at this point, Gem felt her picture was confirmed! and we had everyone say, 'Holy Spirit, come and fill me up!' as they did that as a faith-action. then after the sessions, one of the campers was prayed for by a group, and as she was filled with the power of God the whole group began to be filled with joy, and Theresa felt God had kept His promises, just as she saw.

2) throughout camp we had times of group prayer especially with those who stayed-in (leaders). this is one of the most prayer-full camps! one of us during one prayer time, saw a picture of a circle with a dot in the centre, and then the dot multiplied. the awesome thing was that i saw the same thing and actually prayed it aloud. the youth who saw it got so excited, and everyone was encouraged! it was abt being focused, and allow God to spread and multiply.

3) on Oct 27 during the camp committee's prayer time, we received (i won't mention all): 'no more traditional, God wants to do a new thing', 'God wants to break off old mindsets', a hard-boiled egg signifying 'substance on the inside'. i know most of the stuff covered during the sessions were nothing newly profound, yet when grasped and lived out, radical things will happen. mindset is a powerful thing, and i felt it will be 2 years of breaking, breaking, breaking...while building substance and radical obedience this season amidst many things we don't understand. He's already begun His new thing!

4) we had sessions on (sat) being a disciple vs a convert, acts 2:42-47, supernatural faith by vincent, baptism and holy communion, (sun) visit to community centres in teams, joel 2, (mon) living with purpose by david, discipleship 101 by aivern, going beyond people's expectations by calvin, testimony-sharing and closing. oh! but i remember sun night with fire in my heart, because God spoke strongly during worship to change direction of my message. i felt a drive as we opened to Phil 3 and Joel 2, and God led us through a time of repentance, and later, revival prayer. there was a call for impartation on each person as we ended -- and many small groups praying for one another formed all around the hall. an army!

5) God answered the prayers of many, especially those who fasted and prayed specifically for EMERGENT to know God in a POWERful way.

6) too many to write...


at EMERGENT, i know significant things happened, though invisible to the naked eye. many of the younger ones were touched in ways i had not seen before, and many said, 'this camp is different', 'i thought being a non stay-in camp it wouldn't be as fun, but i don't regret joining', etc.

we ask God to continue His deep work of conviction in every heart! Holy Spirit, come and fill us up to walk in Your presence and power...daily. Eklektos, don't lay low, don't back off, don't slow down - turn up the heat in prayer and radical obedience! emerge, army of God in KK, it is time, contend for revival!

charting your course? land ahoy!

its been two weeks.

ever felt like you've done so SO so much reflection and soul-searching, that when you sit down before your laptop to post a blog you end up not being able to?
*laugh* happens to me all the time.
but today is a day to post.

are you right now charting the course for a new year ahead, and there are so many decisions just waiting for you to make? if yes, you're not alone. 2007 has been a year of transition for many of us, more so than some years. perhaps i refer to those in malaysia when i say this. and transition may mean uncertainty, loss of clarity, goal assessment, change in career or location, direction-seeking, etc. now that we're at the threshold of 2008, life will get more exciting than ever. oh, i'm sure! and are you feeling just a tad unsure whether you're hearing God right, or when you thought you were clear some minor occurrences seem to pop up causing some doubt in your heart? maybe you're frustrated as you wait on the Lord and still find yourself back to square one? if yes, you're not alone.

you're probably getting the idea - 'aha! janice is in the same dilemma.' wow! how'd you guess?! well, personal details aside, i've got something to share that may encourage your hearts to wait, and wait on still. been reading through the OT, found such jewel-bits that spoke to me in volumes never before heard. i'll pick on samuel, that young prophet who heard God when visions were rare. God doesn't always speak the way we expect, huh? and three times God called lil' sam! good thing eli figured out it was God, otherwise "david as king" might not have happened...i mean, that's when samuel's journey as a prophet started, right? on he grew in his destiny, and through him david's destiny was sealed. or rather, oiled *grin* david was such an eccentric, even before sam anointed him. such a character, i love him! but you see, if i were even HALF like david, i would've SO doubted i heard God rightly. i'd be like, "i thought you said this would happen??" or "didn't you tell me that...??!" he knew God spoke of his calling, he knew God's plan for his career/life, there seemed to be confirmations along the way...but boy, he had to wait. and so long! two times he could've sped things up a bit. kill off saul and tada! the throne's yours, o dave! if you read on 1 and 2 samuel, notice how many times he'd ask God before battles. the victory's sure when you seek the Lord surely.

i know God wants me to know which decision is right; He doesn't sway, He doesn't give wrong directions, He doesn't play with your mind. note: (1) every decision, pray decisively. don't be afraid to articulate your desires BOLDLY and UNASHAMEDLY. i need to learn this so much. (2) ask for confirmation through people, scripture, etc. but trust your own discerning heart to make sound judgment for your future. (3) take concrete steps in faith toward what you're praying for, while being open to other options if any. (4) be prepared to wait VERY patiently and claim that peace of God will be yours when you settle into the best decision.
still charting my course, yet to see shore but it's there over the horizon...heard the phrase "life is fragile, handle with prayer"? i say life is adventurous, navigate with prayer. land ahoy!

someone very wise said last week, "it's a matter of time, not a matter of heart." huh? what does that mean? it means when your heart is set on something (i.e. dream, goal, etc.), don't over the course of time let that slip away or disintegrate but trust in the right time it will come to fruition. although occasionally disillusioned, or maybe you may refine it a bit, it doesn't mean your passion has changed or you've lost sight of it. let your heart stay faithful. it's a matter of time. that was like woah! i'll pray abt 2008 with that!

preparing for Eklektos' EMERGENT camp Dec 8-10, during which i will speak at 3-4 sessions focusing on Acts 2:42-47 and Joel 2:28 (the NT in 'EMERGENT' being New Testament), along with other facilitators. we're preparing for a mighty outpouring of Holy Spirit on every one of the 60+ campers and to see these followers of Jesus Christ be imparted with supernatural faith and walk in radical obedience. God is gonna break mindsets of the 'old' and pour in the 'new'; it is time to rethink our ecclesiology and retool in unity to prepare God's army for revival harvest - like a pitstop and a boiling kettle. it is time! if you're reading this and will pray for us, don't pray gentle, mild prayers - i ask for your radical & passionate intercession on our behalf to the Father.

P/S: please pray for the kampung air villagers that stay within walking distance from my house in tanjung aru. many were forced to evacuate on Nov 26 when the seawater level rose and big waves struck down some wooden bridges and houses. the weather department has given a warning that there would be another 'wave of destruction' (pardon the pun) this Dec 25 (at least that's what some of these villagers told me). ask that it not happen, that we can praise God who is in control of all elements.

changes?!?

"be the change you want to see in the world."
mahatma gandhi said this.

past few days been praying for a mighty wind of change, for God to move what men (and women) so far have not been able to. just got back from a, shall i say, intensely disturbing and interestingly boring few-days' camp. will not divulge much info here, but for sure it was one freaking tiring camp simply from the weight of decisions being made there. these are deciding factors in many ways for a future so linked with my own (whether i like it or not), in more ways than i'd like to acknowledge. SO worn-out by now, just glad i made it home! plus, the amount of hakka spoken throughout the whole ordeal gave me a splitting headache i hadn't had for a long time.
am i glad i went? sure.

aside from the buzz of teatime talks, i spent the freetimes thinking by myself just short of seeming anti-social. and as i reflected (coupled with some serious people-watching!) at the camp, it reinforced the fact that one can devote one's whole life to effect change. some social issue. or a cause concerning justice. people do it all the time. suicide bombers, we say, are 'emulate-able' because they're not afraid to die for what they believe in. like Lions for Lambs, "what will you STAND for? what will you FIGHT for? what will you LIVE for? what will you DIE for?" but TRUTH, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. there are those who choose to do something when something needs to be done, but sometimes some of these martyrs choose a 'wrong' cause. or rather, they're blind and cannot see what they hold on to may be wrong.

there are so many people, GOOD people, who truly use up decades of their lives serving some system or government or organization or idea of a better world - and we ask ourselves, "do they know there's a better way? do they know there's a whole different view out there? do they realize their inability to SEE?"

with the wariness i felt, it made me unable to fully immerse myself in the post-camp conversation going on with my team, which expressed their enthusiastic hope that with these decisions newly in place from this camp there will be some long-awaited positive changes, FINALLY. inside i pray silently in my heart, "God, i ask that i would always ONLY fight for the cause that You want me to. i don't wanna hold firm to ideals that are not in line with Your will...these who seem so 'blind' yet so fully believe their views are right, how it frustrates me that they cannot see! but Lord, ensure i am not blind myself! here we try to effect change so that they would see these new decisions will bring good. Lord, may i not find myself in those same shoes ever --- thinking i'm being the change i want to see in the world, yet not SEEing my views could be wrong, or 'more right'."

it frightens me to imagine any of us can stand/fight/live/die for change we want to see but be blind to TRUTH. may that not happen when we endeavor to devote our lives for the Kingdom of God. may that not happen when we weigh justice versus mercy, righteousness versus peace. may that not happen when we need to choose conflict above conformity and counterfeit. may TRUTH be seen through the eye of the Greatest Beholder.